Have you at some point thought that there is a streak of insanity that runs through the fabric of the universe? Philip K. Dick had several explanations about that. The first, and probably closest to his heart, was that the original Mind mourns after a woman who has died, and all of creation is awry because of that grief. Another is that the primordial Fall from grace was not a moral error, but one of intellect. And one may find the latter sounds unsatisfying. All the bad stuff that ever happened, because someone forgot to balance a checkbook? We shall return to that, but the former speculation: this does indeed seem to be the case of how things are.

When Lucifer decided to sin, in its most formidable cast, that urge did not sit idle, but its consequence bore fruit. When he sinned, he gave birth to Sin. This was the fruit of his overwhelming genius, and sad that is. Where nothing could go wrong, there in Heaven where God’s will is done as a matter of course, he invented Error. He invented Pain. And he, being the progenitor of same, he himself became Evil. This is in line with the writings of Milton, Paradise Lost, but it has its origin in the Bible: “Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.” [James 1:15, NIV] And the term, “playing God”—and how wrong that could possibly be—is most fit in describing this creation, Sin.

I wrote once: “imagine every fiber of your being twisting in agony; it gets worse if you move; it gets worse when you stop.” I had not realized it at the time I jotted that time, but such a tortured soul was what Sin was to be, behind her eyes. This was Error, this was Pain. So before the life could light within her, just at that moment, she was slain. And mercy it was. But this is the one whom we grieve, the woman that died, the innocent that died—for she was not given the chance at all. And this is an argument against the question of why does not God select them to be born who would not sin? Because everyone should get a chance, a real chance, if life were to be given to them. Sin’s life was zero sum: perfectly fair, no gain nor loss. Except the potential of what might have been. And that is real too; and this is why we grieve.

This was what was meant when the Lord said of the Devil that he was a murderer from the first. The Lord would not let the light behind the eyes, the life, suffer so catastrophically… Philip K. Dick said that the universe is a tale told of the one that was lost, and indeed, is it not so? Is it not a tale of sins, of pain, of mistakes—do we not relate to these ideas? It is of fruitless speculation to wonder how she would have turned out. There is no way to tell. As it stands, you may interact with Sin, and she will seem like she were of like any other spirit being, until you look into her eyes, and at the cores exist only vacuum. She reacts like she feels, but ultimately, there is nothing there that looks out.

So it was her body out of which God created all things material. Lucifer thought that by poisoning creation by the body of pain, of error, he was “salting the earth” as the saying goes, so that it would be impossible to build anything out of the watery chaos that that body was. But God wanted it that way, all creation the reminder of the one who was lost. That all might remember her. Indeed, it was impossible to build anything solid from the barely there watery chaos, but as we know, with God nothing is impossible. What you see all around you has this one thing in common: nothing is perfect. But there is so much beauty. This is what God can do with the body of Error itself.


The Best Story Wins

I’m as yet trying to get a handle on how exactly this thing called “time” works, at least in relation to what I label “Eternity”. I have stated before that since the War in Heaven is a war in eternity, the primordial Fall of the Dragon and his rebel angels is one and the same as the eschatological Fall that is a sign of the Apocalypse. (Wow, a lot of capitalized words. I better have a point.) It is part of doctrine that Jesus Christ defeated Satan once and for all when he died on the cross. Yes, but we did not stop fighting Satan at that point. One of the mottoes of the Church might be, “eternal vigilance”. Always to be on guard against Satan and his minions. Was it because, perhaps, it was that the Crucifixion and subsequent Resurrection were actually to defeat the Devil in Eternity, while things still play out in time, while we are in this mortal coil?

Let us say that the universe is made of words. And that each angel were responsible for one of those words. Since they were blameless before iniquity were found in them, let us say that all of the rebel angels, they were also each responsible for a word: these were the point of contention between the good and the evil, that the meanings of these words were not corrupted to a state that would make them unrecognizable. For at any of these breaches could the derangement propagate. This is not an exact description as to what exactly happened during the War, but it is close enough to understand just how things may work. Philip K. Dick remarked that the universe was made of information: what if the metainformation, how this world’s strata forms as information, what if that were like the “words” just mentioned? Words that governed other words…

Now, within that “words” model: what if the universe were a grand story, composed of smaller stories? What if the only rule, really, in how it all works in the grand scheme, is that “the best story wins”? Maybe not at any given time that the story were being told, that things could not be “better”—this is the fallacy of personalization: if it’s not good for me, it’s not good. But what if, by the grandest wisdom, what if everything that ever was, put together, were the greatest story that could be told? Once again, not because nothing bad happens; in fact sometimes because something bad happened. If that is the case, then maybe we really do live in the best of all possible worlds. Ain’t that a kick? And since we are still going, this grand story is still being written, by you and me, and whatever forces are at work here or in Eternity.

How much did the fallen ones affect the universe? It is easier to do evil than to do good. People don’t (a lot of times) get what they deserve. Bad things happen to good people. Wherever you see it is not as it should be, this is of the damage done to the happening of creation. Though there was no break in the ultimate logic of all things, there were definitely places where there was warping. And then sometimes, you can see God’s hand counterbalancing the dementia, where it is almost obvious that the antiprovidence were turned about, and things worked out better than if the wrong had not happened at all. You’ve seen stories, surely, of the serendipity? Death and pain put to fruitful ends. Evil ultimately defeated by a love that would not have been so had there not been any evil at all.

As far as “time” goes, I still see sometimes things from before the casting of Satan from Heaven. I am told that even if it is clear in the Halospace that we, the good guys, won, Lucifer from before the Fall merely assumes that this is a reality that he did not choose to instantiate (solidify); which unfortunately for him is a wrong assessment. How the things I see reconcile in Eternity, I seem to have some feel for it. They, the ones in the Halospace, must expend some of their precious time to do anything, especially if that is to interact with the “real world”. It used not to be a big deal for them there, but after the Fall, it is written that Satan was filled with wrath, for he knew that his time was short. The fallen angels: the words they were entrusted with were taken away. They no longer possess anything of Eternity. Trapped in time, all of them are, to await the end that surely comes.



I have seen Lucifer before the Fall. He courted me in more than one occasion to join with him against the God who is love. I think I may have inadvertently said yes to him, too, at some point, but these were youthful indiscretions, lapsed calls of decision. I have always wanted to be one of the good guys. But Lucifer (he was Satan even then, from the first he reached out to me), he was still living it up in Eternity, and I have viewed some cartoony representations I have seen of that place. He had been given much power, there, which meant he had great power here, too. (Not to say he could not be defeated, for I have done that, just you need help to accomplish such a feat yourself.) I saw him shop around for a world to take over. A reality to call his own.

It was a strange thing, but there were times that not just he, but other explorers from where I know not where appeared in my visions, looking for a world, a reality. Once they said they were looking for the “best of all possible worlds”. Sound familiar? Like there were other worlds, other realities. But as far as Satan was concerned, there were a few different myths that were floating around. From Eternity he looked down and it looked like he were trying for the most advatageous one. He also tried to recruit me, though the position he said he could give me was “Son of God”, whereas I wanted God the Father. Who didn’t? He was thinking of that for himself, of course. I didn’t want what he was selling.

I think it came down to two choices, which were the strongest in being rooted in any mythology. Judeo-Christian mythology. One was that Satan were one of the minor functionaries of God’s court, who was doing his job by being our adversary. Ultimately, to live in Eternity with the rest of us. The other was to be the greatest of the angels, Lucifer, who rebelled against the God who is love, and turned a third of all the angels to his side. This latter was a dangerous course, though, for there were three possible outcomes: universalism, where everyone is saved (eventually); annihilationism, where the second death is the cease of existence; and your classic story of an eternal Hell to go with an eternal Heaven.

He acted like he were contending with the actual God the Father, whose name, Yahveh, means “He who causes to be”. It seemed that it were not enough that solely the Lord made this world, this universe, this cosmos as you see it: in addition, at the very least, He made it seem as though Lucifer needed to sign off on it too. And I saw it happen. We had just been talking about how this world were actually a universalist model, where “only” one soul were sacrificed, and then all the rest would live forever. It appeared that he liked the idea, and I saw it happen: what I thought was the sacrifice of the one innocent: in the air before my eyes: “snap!” and there we were. This was the only way that would ever be, the only reality.

What was interesting about the whole process was that it was like when the spirit world came to knowledge about some elements of mythology in this world, it seemed to shape what forms came to be in that other world. Like the whole thing about Lucifer, the classic myth of the Fall of the Rebel angels. Like it were a feedback: something there made mythology here written down in a certain form, and that which was written down made what what “existed” in the unseen world function as to fulfill the words. It seemed a great mystery. But such would be the ways of Eternity, n’est-ce pas? And like a dream more solid than stone.

The Story (3)

What if pain were not a creation of the Most High? And the Most High God is not the cause of destruction? That Lucifer, the greatest of all beings besides God, could actually have had that much effect on the world at large? Like Adam and Eve being banished from the Garden of Eden so that they would not eat of the Tree of Life, Satan and his angels were thrown from Heaven so that they would no longer have access to the inner gears of the cosmos. Their sin was pride.

A clue to why God takes responsibility for all that goes wrong is in the Book of Job. At the end, God sort of appears before Job and asks him where was he when He measured out the dimensions of the world, that sort of thing. That he cannot fathom why things happen as they do. Nowhere does God say, Satan did it to him, don’t blame Me. But the fact of the matter is, throughout the universe, it is due to the War in Heaven that there are calamities great down to the most trivial of injuries. Lucifer from his station in eternity threw a wrench in the whole works.

And so it was that Lucifer out of pride sought his own way, his own Logos, and so made that which was not of love, outside of all good, to become the avatar of Evil. And from Evil came Sin, which is also called Error, which is also called Pain; and from Evil and Sin was begotten Death: and this was enough. Before they could cause irrevocable damage to the pillars of creation, they were hurled from Heaven. With their exile the part of Heaven now in ruins was torn from the main of Eternity and cast free into the earth, as the abode in the outer darkness for Satan and his angels, who were now subject to time.